AMPLIFY YOUR INFLUENCE

Often have we heard an anchor posing the question, "Who is the one who has influenced you the most?" We live in an era where we rank people according to their influence. "The top ten most influential person of the year." The end phase changes according to the then agenda of the media houses. So what is this "influence"? Is it the personality traits of a select few? Or an acquired skill set? The answer is simple. Manipulation. Our mind manipulates our perception under the influence of a particular person's words, deeds and character. 

Let us see how NLP can amplify four traditional factors of influence, 

1. Persuasion 

2. Assertion 

3. Attraction 

4. Bridging 

Before addressing these points, one of the key points of increasing our influential abilities is to assess when to ‘validate and engage’ (pace) and when to ‘correct and convince’ (lead). We always want to pace first before we lead, however, sometimes we can do this very quickly, at other times we need to take the time our client needs to be comfortable with our approach. 

PERSUASION 

Persuasion works well with action-orientated people who like direct influence styles. The style has a strong logical element. 

The Style involves proposing and reasoning: 

Proposing: 

“I propose we …” 

“I suggest we …” 

Followed by a reason: 

“…because we’ll both benefit.” 

“…because our stakeholders will like it.” 

Followed by a close/check understanding: 

“You’ll be able to do this? Won’t you?” 

“You’ll seriously think about it and come back with your decision? Won’t you?” (And we always thank people when they commit to something we want.)

Note: The approach is logical as opposed to emotional. The Assertive approach which follows is more emotional. 

ASSERTION 

Assertion works well with action-orientated people who like direct influence styles. The style has a strong emotional element. 

The Style involves evaluating, stating expectations and using incentives and pressures: Evaluating: 

“I liked it when you did x, it was a great job,” and 

“I wasn’t keen when you did Y,” (you may add: “because it didn’t move us towards Z.“) Stating Expectations: 

“I want you to do Z” 

“I need you to do Z” 

Using Incentives and Pressure: 

“If you do Z you’ll be on your path to promotion, otherwise, you’ll have to wait until next year.” Followed by a close/check understanding: 

“You’ll be able to do this? Won’t you?” 

“You’ll seriously think about it and come back with your decision? Won’t you?” (And we always thank people when they commit to something we want.) 

Note: The approach is more emotional, as opposed to logical. The Persuasive approach above is more logical. 

ATTRACTION 

Attraction works well with reflective-orientated people who like indirect influence styles. However, the style also has an inspirational element. 

The Style involves finding common ground and sharing values and/or visions: Finding Common Ground: 

“What’s important to you about this?”

“What do you want to achieve with this?” 

Followed by sharing values and/or vision: 

“...I can see the look on the face of your team when you achieve this.” “...You’ll feel special when you’ve pulled this off.” 

Followed by a close/check understanding: 

“You’ll commit to working together on this, won’t you?” 

“You’ll seriously think about it and come back with your decision? Won’t you?” (And we always thank people when they commit to something we want.) BRIDGING 

Bridging works well with reactive-orientated people who like indirect influence styles. The style has a strong listening element. 

The Style involves involving, demonstrate listening and disclosing: 

Involving: 

“I’d appreciate your help on this.” 

“Tell me more.” 

Demonstrate Listening: 

Reflect their keywords, with a touch of their rhythm and intonation. “Have I got that right?” Disclose Something Relevant and Personal: 

“I’ll have a real challenge if we don’t finish this, and I’ll appreciate your help.” Followed by a request /close/check understanding: 

“What might you do to help me?” 

“You’ll be able to do this? Won’t you?” 

“You’ll seriously think about it and come back with your decision? Won’t you?” (And we always thank people when they commit to something we want.)

Note The approach is more emotional as opposed to logical. The Persuasive approach above is more logical.